That’s Mister Cooper to You
About a week ago, I started noticing a little pink thing sticking out of Cooper’s privates. I thought maybe she had some kind of infection, but she doesn’t lick herself excessively and generally doesn’t seem to care about the mini lipgloss protruding from her hooha.
I had to take Lily to the vet today for some shots and her annual poo-check, so I mentioned Cooper’s hooha to The Great Doctor Flynn. He raised an eyebrow. The man is no fool.
“I think she might be a hermaphrodite.”
While I was not prepared for this turn of events, and though I do listen to country music more often than you might think, I’m totally okay with Cooper’s bi-gendered reality. Her femimanity. Her rejection of the either/or. Her firm grasp of the both/and. I’m not sure I’m totally okay with her having a penis, but from what I’ve been reading, it’s sort of a really big clitoris. Which seems… better.
We won’t really know until we do some chromosomal testing, which will probably cost at least two thousand dollars, given our trend at the vet. They practically have direct access to our retirement fund at this point.
You know I’ll keep you posted.
January 24th, 2007 at 16:00
Cooper could be in no better household than yours if s/he is indeed a two-spirited dog.
January 24th, 2007 at 19:17
Now I guess we know why you haven’t posted a picture of this … this what? … this … I just don’t know what to think …
Have you told poor Lily about her new sist–, no, brot—, whatever?
January 24th, 2007 at 19:24
And one more thing. If you keep writing about hoohas and clitorises and all kinds of private things (even penises!) (I guess I’ve gotten used to the “poo” part), I won’t be able to let my young children read your cute stories any more. Please think about your audience!
Besides, I thought Hermaphrodite was the Greek goddess of love and beauty. Isn’t that right?
And what right does your veterinarian have to call himself “The Great Doctor Flynn” ? The Immodest Doctor Flynn would be more like it.
January 24th, 2007 at 19:36
definitely better. I’m jealous.
January 26th, 2007 at 18:44
Well, Art. If your twentysomething “young” children don’t know about hoohas and hermaphrodites yet, it’s certainly time for them to learn. Luckily, all of this can be learned in the warm bosom of my web page.
January 27th, 2007 at 09:05
warm bosom! are you going to show us that, too??
February 2nd, 2007 at 15:52
In thirty seconds, you will be automatically redirected to my warm bosom. Please have your credit card ready.