Elmo Rhymes with Hell No
The slope
It is slippery
We generally don’t watch TV here, with the exception of Seahawks away games. So while the rest of the nation knows all about Jack Bauer and lo his many trials and tribulations, we were in the dark. I remember liking the real-time concept when I first heard about it, but then I promptly forgot all about it. FOX television is not exactly celebrated in our family.
But Stephen King is. And when Shane and I heard his opinion of the show “24,†we looked at each other. Hmm. Maybe worth checking out.
We’d been through this before with The Sopranos. Everyone loved (loves? I don’t know) that show, and we love mafia movies, so we were ready for a treat when we rented a DVD with the first few episodes. Instead, we thought it was lame and went on with our TV-free lives, reminded that we’re not missing anything except sitting on our asses and absorbing corporate media. (Watch more! Buy more! Eat more! Think less!)
This time, upon renting the first four episodes of 24, we felt like we’d just smoked crack. (Okay, no, we don’t really know what that’s like, but you get the idea.) When can we get more? I’m not tired at all! Let’s keep watching! I kind of have to pee, but who cares, because oh my god, what’s going to happen to Terri and Kim?
Note: I know that folks who follow the show are now on season six, but bear with me and DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES REVEAL ANYTHING ABOUT SEASONS 2-7 OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU.
We’ve just finished season one, and will need a few sessions of psychotherapy as a result. After the PTSD is cleared up, I imagine we’ll move on to season 2. I haven’t liked a TV show this much since Crockett and Tubbs were running around Dade County with automatic weapons and luxury sportscars. I’ve had to wait twenty years for a good TV show! Even so, I’ll only watch it on DVD because there’s no way I’ll wait an entire week between episodes, and because watching commercials is a special kind of torture.
Now, I’m not sure if there was a subliminal message in the first season of 24 that influenced me, but for some reason I came home from the video store with an “Elmo’s World†DVD for Lina. Understand that I know nothing about Elmo, except for his (her?) muppet-ness. I grew up with Sesame Street, but Elmo is a more modern addition to the show, I guess. Lina was excited when she saw the DVD case, and I sat down to check it out with her. When Elmo came on screen and began talking, I found myself leaning toward the screen, squinting, turning up the volume. Doing everything I could do to try to understand the guy. I think I’m getting about 75% of what he’s saying, but I’d love to know what the other 25% is. And does Lina understand him?
Shane had a similar reaction, and upon watching with Lina said to her, “Papa can barely understand Elmo!†And I felt comforted that it wasn’t just me, my hearing, my lack of openness or something. Elmo’s voice is just… weird. (If you don’t believe me, click on the wiki Elmo link here and scroll down to “controversy.” It’s not all about the chip, people.)
But Lina thinks that Elmo is funny, charming, smart, interesting, and easy on the eyes. Elmo is not meant to be appreciated by adults, I guess. His (her?) lack of enunciation and incessant giggling makes some kind of a connection with young children. And since he’s not trying to sell my daughter anything or make her into a fascist, I’m sort of okay with it.
After all, I grew up with Sesame Street, and look how I turned out.
C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me, cookie cookie cookie, cookie starts with C