atomic mama

Yesterday I left Shane and Lina at the hotel and boarded a bus to Tonggu, the place Lina was born and lived in foster care for the first eight months of her life. We had hoped to make the journey as a family, but didn’t like the sound of Lina’s coughing the night before, so we decided not to put her through the 4-hour bus ride (each way). I felt very strongly that I wanted to go. I had a need to make the journey that Lina had made on Sunday to get to us, as well as to see where she was from. I wanted to hear the sounds, smell the air, and see the people that she had been around in her life before us. I can’t completely explain it. I just knew that I needed to go, even though that meant being away from her for a day.

Tonggu is covered in gorgeous bamboo forests. The bamboo there is the deepest green. The lush bamboo-covered hills stand above rice paddies and immaculate little gardens scattered here and there. It was breathtakingly beautiful. It did remind me of Western Washington in some respects… the green splendor of it all. I took some photos, but none of them can come close to capturing the scenery. I wanted to go for a hike in the forest, as we would do at home, but we weren’t able to do anything like that yesterday. I traveled with a few other parents and families, and our time in Tonggu was focused on the town itself.

We went to the SWI (social welfare institute), although all of our children were in foster care. The SWI has just been reconstructed and is nearing completion, and we were told that children would once again be living there starting at the end of November. The facility is impressive, and far, far nicer than the average building in that area. We were treated to an amazing lunch (12-15 dishes!) made by the SWI employees. It was quite an honor to be a guest there. The facility’s director is a gentle man who is absolutely sweet with the children, and proud of the work that he does. Though the buildings were quiet and empty, to be honest I was somewhat relieved by the fact that I wouldn’t see it filled with little ones. I’m not sure my heart could take that. We did see a few special-needs children already living there, along with several elderly folks. The SWI system in China is designed to help the needy, be they orphans, the disabled, or the elderly. During our time there, we were able to sit down with the director and other administrative folks and ask questions about our childrens’ foster situations. They knew all the children by name, and care deeply about their futures. I will always be so thankful for the love and care that was obviously bestowed upon our child before we got to her. Lina seems absolutely used to being loved, held, kissed, caressed, sung to and played with. She is happiest (and we are happiest) when she’s in our arms. She demands our attention and affection. Thank you thank you thank you to all the arms that have held her before mine. Being able to comfort my child by holding and kissing her is a gift beyond measure.

After our SWI visit, we drove around to take photos and video of the girls’ finding places. These are conspicuous spots that the girls’ birthparents carefully chose to place them (all bundled up, and sometimes with a short note) such that they would be found as quickly as possible, and be efficiently placed into SWI care until their families can travel to them, as we did to Lina. This is basically how one makes an adoption plan in China. It is done with love, care, and intention. We will forever honor the people who gave Lina life, and gently sent her on her way to us. Seeing Lina’s finding place was an incredibly intense and important experience for me. It was hard for me to leave it, but at the same time I felt desperate to walk back to the bus, make the long journey back to Lina, and turn my face toward the future.

The four-hour ride back to Nanchang gave me time to marvel at what a wonderfully complicated and miraculous thing it is to become a family. Parents with children from China often talk about the “red threads” that connected them to their children before they met; threads that eventually brought them together. For me, there are millions of threads, all woven together, all interdependent. Even now, they are weaving and weaving, as they will be for the rest of Lina’s life.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 16th, 2005 at 23:34 and is filed under stephanie. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.